This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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