Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
