Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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