Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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