Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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