Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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