im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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