idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
