So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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