i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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