its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
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You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
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She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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