I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
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