Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
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