Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
