i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
