You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
