There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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