physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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