Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i drank out of a bidet.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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