I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
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I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
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The struggles of a small town man whore
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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