alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
