Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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