Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
