I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
