That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
