I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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