I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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