I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
