Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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