My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
