its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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