This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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