...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
