look no pants
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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