I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
