This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
