Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
