There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
