He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
