I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
