You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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