38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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