does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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