is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
