why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
