Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
