Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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