let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
