4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
