Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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