Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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