im drinking this country out of the recession.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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