she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
