why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
