Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
