You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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