can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
