yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
