I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
MIDGETS
????
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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