did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i came on her dog
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
