hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
