I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize