WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
